It’s been two months since I wrapped up my last client projects and two weeks since I completed my Art History class. After a quick road trip to Chicago with my wife and dog to visit our eldest daughter and her three kids (celebrated our grandson’s 10^thbirthday at his baseball game), I am settling into a new phase of my nontrepreneurial sabbatical. I have nothing scheduled, nowhere I have to be, no business-related phone calls or emails to return. I should be having the time of my life  – but truthfully – it is all a little unnerving. I am used to structure, routines and responsibilities. This newfound freedom to go and do as I wish seems so strange. What if Janis Joplin was right when she sang “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose?” Maybe I will find permanent retirement the way of life for me. Perhaps the what’s next is something completely different for me. Time will tell and I plan am completely open to the universe’s leading. In the meantime, here are my sabbatical takeaways to date:

Family is number one! While that may seem obvious, we (at least me) all too often take family for granted. Our kids and grandkids live in Chicago and New York. My sisters live in Colorado. Only my Mom lives near enough for drop-by visits. Facetime is not the same as face-to-face time. Honestly, we don’t call or visit as much as we should – or would like to. But the truth is, we also try to be respectful of our children’s busy lives, just as our parents were when we were young adults building our careers and raising our daughters. So being with our Chicago family for a few days in mid-May really filled our souls. We shared life with them, celebrated a birthday, watched baseball games, played catch, had meaningful conversations and basked in the glow of a 15-month old toddler that radiates as much joy as any human I’ve  encountered. We returned home exhausted. Can’t wait for the next trip to see our New York kids and upcoming visits with my sisters. 

Age doesn’t make us wiser or smarter. If I were king, it would be so. I always envied the smart kids for whom As came easily. I had to work hard for almost every A I received. Nothing has changed. I eked out an A in my Art History class, but only because the teacher gave us enough opportunities for extra credit. The question is, why was it important to invest so much time in the effort? Even my teacher wondered, “Why do you worry about a grade? You don’t have anything to prove.” She was right, especially since I was perfectly happy to accept Cs in college when grades did matter. Many of the high school athletes I’ve coached the past five years have taught me that wisdom can come at any age. Similarly, some of my acquaintances who were once enticingly young and foolish are now simply old and foolish. Yet hope springs eternal. I want to keep learning.

Failure frequently leads to success, but humiliation? History gives us plenty of examples of failures that led to successes. We take inspiration from the come-back kids who make good. If Michael Jordan could become an NCAA and NBA hoops legend after being cut from his high school basketball team or if Bill Gates could drop out of college and become the world’s richest man, why there must be hope for each of us who fails. Through my working years, one of the lessons gleaned from personal experience and that of other entrepreneurs is: Taking risks and experiencing some level of failure is essential to achieving maximally. But no one hopes to fail spectacularly to gain later reward. Certainly that wasn’t the intent of a stinging recent failure. My stated “stretch goal” this year is to “run my age” in the 400 meter dash. My training plan was to get an electronic time in a track meet to show where I was in relation to where I wanted to be for my first real race of the season – KC Corporate Challenge on June 4. Unexpected circumstances kept me from competing in the two meets for which I had previously registered and in which I would have competed against athletes my age. So my last chance coincided with St. Mary’s College’s “last chance” meet on May 11. The meet’s sole purpose was to give the college’s athletes a final opportunity to qualify for the NAIA National Championships. It was to be a low-key meet open to anyone interested. St. Mary’s coach was generously welcoming master athletes. However, nobody remotely close to my age showed up. When the official called the 400, three of us answered. Just me and two collegians on a mission. My first 200 was actually ahead of where I expected to be. Even so, the other two sprinters were already sprinting for home. After rounding the final curve, I could barely see them finish. The final 100 was lonely. It seemed to last an eternity as I suffered the indignity of the sympathy applause. It was the first time in my life and it was awful. And yet, I learned exactly what kind of training was necessary if I am to achieve my goal. Would I do it again? I honestly don’t know. And hope I never find out. As a footnote, both of the young athletes were pleased with their times, both sub-50 seconds. Neither as fast as my college time trial.

So what’s next? Getting rid of stuff and examining the various labels/identities I proudly carried in the past that could be keeping me from who or what I can be. Uggh, this is going to be the hard part.