I did come home with a few valuable takeaways – inspirations and reminders of what makes life enjoyable and worthwhile – whether you are searching for fulfillment in retirement as I am, coming of age as some of the student athletes I have coached are, starting a career as recent graduates are, or climbing the rungs of the ladder and dealing with work-life balance issues as my daughters and their peers are.

Find inspiration in the lives of others and follow their lead.
“Hi, I’m Jeanne. What are you running today?” It was the beginning of a memorable breakfast conversation with a remarkable woman in our hotel restaurant on Friday, my first day of competition at the USA Track and Field Masters Championships. Jeanne revealed that she was an “Iowa farm girl” who had lived in California, teaching elementary school for many years before retiring to Atlanta with her husband; that she was 83 and had been running competitively for more than 50 years. She shared her fear that this might be her last meet. Arthritis had frozen her shoulder to the point she could no longer swing her arm. As tough and as much of a stoic as she appeared from the outside, I saw a hint of tearing in her eyes. I hugged her and she hugged back. Jeanne never once mentioned her accomplishments during our conversation, only her love of the sport, the benefits and the relationships she gained from it. But I learned during the introductions before her race that Jeanne Daprano holds an impressive array of national and international titles. She holds multiple age group records for the mile, 800 and 400-meter dash. Her 400 record for the 75-79 age group is an amazing 1:21.28. I learned even more later after Googling her and perusing some of the numerous articles in which she was featured, like she was known as “the running teacher” in an elementary school where she taught Cambodian refugees. In every aspect of her life, including a brief encounter with a stranger in a hotel restaurant in Ames, Iowa, Jeanne seems to show herself as an exemplar of courage, grace and humility. We could all use a Jeanne in our life. 

Disappointment is part of life. Get over it.
Jeanne was not pleased by her 400-meter race time. She experienced pain from her arthritic shoulder but made no excuses. She ran with heart and guts. I hugged her again and wished her well going forward, then finished warming up for my own race. Jeanne was not the only one disappointed by a sub-par performance Friday. I stunk up my 400 race, and unlike Jeanne, had no injury justification. Frankly, I didn’t even belong that race. Coming in, my stretch goal was to run my age (400 meters in 69 seconds). The conditions favored success – solid training, stellar competition, fast track and hot weather made for a promising race. I didn’t come close – a full three seconds off – and two seconds off a worst-case time given my training marks. I was taken aback by how quickly the field left me behind. Every competitor but me ran his age – most by several seconds. The winner ran a sub-60. One of the men who beat me received a chemo treatment on the Monday before the race. OK so it was probably more humiliating than humbling. I failed and was terribly disappointed. But if there is one clear life lesson that sports and people like Jeanne teach you, it is you have to get back up after you’ve been knocked down. Tomorrow would bring another day and another race. I kept to myself the rest of the day and ate alone Friday night. I engaged in self-talk, resolving not to let one awful race lead to another.

Embrace your inner geek and find a community that supports it.
Each of us has some sort of inner geekness – an uncommon pursuit or quirky behavior that sets us apart from others. Often, as is my case, it is a geekness that few of one’s closest friends or family members share. Obsessing about a passion is off-putting to those who don’t share it (telltale signs include their eyes start glazing over and searching for an exit just as yours brighten while you rhapsodize on training flats, split times or how much each energy system contributes what to your favorite race). Sometimes you just want to talk about your geeky love, be it running, golf, pickle ball, music, art, or magic. Rather than feel like an outcast or isolate yourself from those important to you, why not join a tribe in which you can slip away occasionally for its conventions? There is a richness in life that comes from the acceptance into and the affirmation of a community of like-minded souls. 

As much as I would have loved to have run my age or scored a medal worthy of an Instagram or Facebook humble brag, there was a deeper, more intrinsic value to the experience. It was in this geeky community that I was warmed by the generosity of spirit, the zest for life, the radiant joy and the sense of gratitude reflected not only by Jeanne, but others. Testament to what a community can be about came after running the 800 on Saturday. Two of the men who smoked me in the 400 were in the race, Yay! One of them smoked me again, winning the race handily. The other finished fourth, but I actually gained on him in the final 200. I felt pretty good about the way I ran the race, my time and finishing fifth in a solid field. And relieved, even somewhat redeemed. Then affirmed. The guy who smoked me twice and won the 800 came up to me and said, “Hey, Tim (Wigger, my friend and Pain Train Corporate Challenge teammate) says you’re considering joining our So Cal team next year. I hope you will. I think you’d like it and you would be a good addition.” After I joked (kind of) that I wasn’t sure I had much to offer, he replied something like, “The race is the race, the times are the times. What matters are the camaraderie and friendships.” He added that the only picture he sought out that weekend was a selfie with two athletes either in or near the centenarian club. A good choice I thought. What could depict lives well lived better than two men racing each other at nearly 100 years of age. The times don’t matter – at least not in the grand scheme. Jeanne expressed the thought beautifully in a New York Times article relating to her training, “I don’t do it for longevity. I do it to be the best at living right now.” Perhaps, just perhaps, Jeanne provided the holy grail for those of us in search of a rewarding What’s Next: Strive to be the “best at living right now.”